different people with ADHD have different symptoms or effects. I think yes it absolutely matters because I have always secretly been hard on myself, that I am worse than others, struggled under extreme rejection sensitivity. It matters and helps, if only to be able to be a little kinder to yourself and have the ability to decide to get help in the form of a therapist, or medication, or find strategies that worked for others.
I'm ADHD and really struggle with similar things. I've been leading a really lonely life because I tend to isolate after any friction with people, assuming they don't like me anymore.
I know to people without this problem it probably sounds very childish and silly, but it's a real problem. I lack a lot of the inner social calibration of what is a big problem and what is not so I very often have social issues because I say something hurtful (unintentionally) and don't realize why it's a big problem. Then I say other stuff that other people are actually fine (or mostly fine) with but I stress out about it and agonize and isolate myself.
I also identify with being super hard on myself. For a recent example I replaced a door in my house recently. I had never done this before. I bought a power routing saw and cut the hinge mortises myself. Two of them were basically perfect, one of them was a bit jagged and it was off by 2 millimeters when I went to hang the door. I spent the next four hours pissed off at myself for fucking up the door!
After doing a franky great job for my first ever attempt at hanging a door, and never using a routing saw before. :/
I feel your thoughts about "what if I'm too good at this and it means I wont get diagnosed?" and "when will this ever end?" one, felt like forever - the time blindness struggle is real. I still thought I did too well until the end where they showed me.. well I missed a lot of those little dots in the quadrants or whatever it was.
Second this too. I went through live until mid thirties thinking life just was that hard for everyone and I was just bad and shit at things, worse than others - I suffered alone thinking everyone had to be like me, because I'm normal right? It was a huge relief finally being diagnosed because I could finally understand myself better, even found community of sorts.. strategies that worked for others and most of all.. just allowing myself to be KIND to myself, not always beating myself up, being angry at myself for being shit.
I found out through a friend who has ADHD just talking about it and finding myself saying "oh god I know EXACTLY what you mean" too often. Then I stumbled upon the reddit adhdmeme community and found myself laughind and saying oh god so true to many of the posts there. Funnily enough now that I'm diagnosed I am noticing that I have unconsciously surrounded myself and just meshed much easier with ADHD people. My wife also has ADHD for example and was always undiagnosed, the friends at work I mesh best with.. you guessed it, also ADHD. Then I learned about how its to a majority genetics and a couple of months after (independent, not somehow induced by me) by nephew gets diagnosed too.
well, it would be foolish to think only reddit and other social media platforms are overrun with bots wanting to manipulate, shift sentiment and manufacture dissent.
I always agree with your statement when people discuss it from a purely theoretical philosophical/moral standpoint.
But when it actually happens to you, as I have been violently mugged several times. Oh, would I push that button - pull that trigger and I'd rewind time so I can do it a few times over. Cathartic.
These little fuckers hide out in alleyways late at night and they've made a career of it. They do it so often they embellish their muggings with other bits like choking and mock stabbing or slamming people's heads against pavements. So fuck 'em.
No, I'm saying it's only human to retroactively want to do extreme fantastical violence against people who have physically harmed you when you live in a society that a: does not care that you were hurt because you're a man and b: pressures men into fending for themselves, sorting out their own problems and "manning up".
I'm not the type, myself. But damn, no wonder downtrodden men end up snapping - because they most often have nobody to turn to and are forced to exist within a bubble that analyses their weakness and victimhood as much as women are for beauty standards, etc.
It's fine. Even re-reading what I'd said it does seem a little extreme, but I still believe the core idea of it. I'm just watching violent criminals in UK get early release while the hapless government and public cannot rub two neurons together to just build more prisons + address problems at the root (income inequality, rising prices, lack of things to do in smaller towns/villages).
Addressing the root of the issue needs to happen for sure, but I can tell you from here in the prison capital of the world, building more prisons does not help. Rehabilitation needs to be the core of the justice system, or all you do is create lifetime criminals.
Maybe, but these thieves might do more damage than just needing to replace the phone. Some of them will attempt to use the information on it for extortion or blackmail (which is why such a feature exists in the first place).
Don’t forget the lifelong trauma you get from a robbery. I know people who stopped using public transport after getting their bag violently snatched from them.
Violence begets violence. A theft of a thousand plus dollar item is grand theft in the US. Ending a continual threat to society should be lauded not threatened.
How many thefts, by a single individual, is tolerable before society is allowed to remove the threat with permanence? Ten? A hundred? A thousand?
Some would answer one, single instance is enough for a weapons discharge. I would ask. How many times is allowable?
The criminal has no care for society, or its lives, so why should society care about that life?
I think I remember that the original brother grimm stories were also much more violent, and dont forget german classics like the Struwwelpeter, gave me nightmares as a kid - especially the guy with the huge scissors cutting off the thumbs of a kid who sucked on them too much. Its in public domain if anyone is curious: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/24571
There's more recent (relatively) stuff as well like Wilhelm Busch's "Max und Moritz", whose fate it is to be ground to a pulp in a mill after blowing the head off their school teacher, killing an old widow's chickens, and other cute children's pranks.
You're right but being medicated is usually the first step. The starting line so to say from which you can then explore various other methods and see what can help mitigate symptoms
The medication often works great, if you can get it to work for you.
For some people that's less of an option. Eg the appetite suppression that comes with stimulants might be a welcome side-effect in adults, but it's usually a big no no in children.
I had to pay for diagnostics myself too since here in Germany, adulthood ADHD diagnostics are unfortunately not paid by the health insurance. Cost me around 600 €. The hardest thing really was fighting myself to actually get an appointment
Their book also tells them to love their neighbours regardless of how different they look. The problem is, in my opinion, more that these people pick and choose from their book to justify their bigotry and hate
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